it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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