I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
