that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Your cock deserves a montage
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
