Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
