oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
we're making bets on your personal life
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
