I just saw a hot homeless man
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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