I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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