im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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