If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
