dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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