it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
