Plan B is the new Plan A
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
