No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize