I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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