I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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