If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
