Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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