I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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