She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize