i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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