Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
