You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
