She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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