Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
