You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
