I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
