why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
