We're like a lot better than the average bears
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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