Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
