Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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