This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
