playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
