theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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