is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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