There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
