I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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