Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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