I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize