i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
