Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You dont lie about slip and slides
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
