I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
