i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
