His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Alive.
So much puke
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
