awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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