is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Your cock deserves a montage
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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