oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
