You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
