so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
