we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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