hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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