Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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