Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
