i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you mean i was at the winter classic?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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