Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Randomize
