he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
