i think i have two assholes
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
