He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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