You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
