I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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