it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
