I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize