i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize