but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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