They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
