somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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