whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
