Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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