I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize