I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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